More!!!

• A boy wrote a letter to a nurse he loved by cutting his wrist and writting with his bloodThe nurse replied back by writting blood details
  blood group:A +ve
  Haemoglobin:129
  Category:RH+ve
  LOL
• One day the nurse had to be the bearer of bad news ,she told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.. later, she heard the widow reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a, ‘massive internal fart.’
• Mummy, what are those dogs doing?
  They’re.. uhmm.. Baking cakes!
  I saw you and daddy baking cakes in the Living room Last night and…
  I Licked the icing off the sofa. 0_o
• In a Nursing Board Exam
  Examiner showed legs of bird n said : Tell the bird’s name
  Pedro: I dont know
  Examiner: U r failed. Wats ur name?
  Pedro: You see my legs, and tell me.
• Q)what Do You Get If You Cross A Pychiatrist And A Patient???
  a)two People Talking Shit!!!!!
• There are several kinds of doctors, and it is told that they can be differentiated by the following method:

• 
  General Practitioners know nothing and do little.
  Surgeons know little and do everything.
  Internists knows everything and do nothing.
  Pathologists know everything and can do everything, but it’s usually too late.
• Doctor: You’re in good health. You’ll live to be 80.
  Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.
  Doctor: See, what did I tell you.
• Patient:Doctor,
  Doctor, i broke my arm in two places!
  Doctor:Stay out of these places!
• Doctor: You will live for only one more hour before u die whom do you want to see?
  Pedro: Another good doctor….
• The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will.”

  “That is very kind of you,” said the doctor emotionally, and then added, “Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I’d like to make a little change.”

• Doctor: You have a terrible vital attack. Why didn’t you come earlier?
  Patient: I had gone to another doctor, before I came to you.
  Doctor: (getting jealous) so what stupid advice did the doctor give you?
  Patient: He advice me to see you.
• Pedro: Nurse Nurse call the Doctor I swallowed a bone.
  Nurse: Are you choking?
  Pedro: No, I really did!
• Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?
  Nurse: You’ve had an accident involving a bus.
  Patient: What happened?
  Nurse: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?Patient: Give me the bad news first.
  Nurse:: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
  Patient: That’s terrible! What’s the good news?
  Nurse: There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.
• Nurse: What is wrong with your brother?
  Sister: He thinks he’s a chicken.
  Nurse: How long has be been acting like a chicken?
  Sister: 3 years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.
• What’s the difference between a psychologist and a magician?
  A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!
• “If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic Clinical Instructor. After a long silence, one Nursing student rose to his feet.
  “Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” inquired the CI with a sneer.“Well, actually I don’t,” said the Nursing Student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”
• A new born baby asks the nurse: Do u have message pack?
  NURSE: Ya I have but why?
  BABY: Send message to God that i reached safely & ask him 2 send my girlfriend soon
• Top ten reasons to become a nurse: 1) Pays better then fast food, though the hours aren`t as good. 2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms. 3) Needles: “Tis better to give than receive” 4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops…eventually. 5) Expose yourself to rare, exciting and new diseases. 6) Interesting aromas. 7) Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting. Do enough charting to navigate around the world. 9) Celebrate all the holidays with your friends- at work. 10) Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.