8-25-11

I am still not sure how to go about this writing thing.  I am afraid to submit anything because I am afraid it will be bad and then I won’t be able to recover from a bad reputation.  I think that it’s a little irrational, but I think I haven’t started because of fear.  I also think I should not drink because I need a clear head.  I would like to go by a rule of not drinking until I have made enough money to buy it.  But I don’t think I will end up sticking to it.  I need to do laundry and clean up as well, but I can’t seem to find the motivation.  all I really want to do is sleep.

For some reason I think I can drink my problems away, or at least forget about them, but I think drinking creates more, both inside and out.  Maybe if I allow myself a week as a vacation, I can get motivation next week to do what I need to do.  But I think I gotta stop drinking.  I have to put my foot down and at least take a break from it.  I think that I would help myself a lot if I didn’t drink for awhile.  Maybe ever again.