Twice every year we have the magnificence of having our sleeping pattern disrupted, and at the same time we get to endure talk about whether this is all too complicated for us and we should look at changing our time zone. Now the government is apparently seriously considering moving our clocks forward to match Central European Time, because British Summer Time is just so, er, racist.

There are, apparently, many pros and cons to changing the time like this (or no changing it, as the change will be introduced by leaving the clocks alone one autumn). I don’t know what any of these are, because frankly I’ve got better things to do than think about them. But let’s just pretend we care for a moment.

If it matters that much, America manages to function fine with two time zones, so perhaps we should allow everyone to take their pick from a couple. That way, those that feel continental enough to share hours with our neighbours can get up an hour later and do their business in French or German or whatever it is they do. People can then refer to times as “6, 5 European”. I can’t see any problems with using two units. After all, it works so well for measurements.

I’d rather have this than some confusing changeover period where you have to clarify what “next week at 8pm” means, and evaluate our entire day of life. At the end of the day, there are already those who refuse to change their clocks every summer or winter (either on principle or laziness) so I don’t see how this would be any different.

What do you mean, “it’s a rubbish idea”?

I write all sorts of absolute tosh. Here’s some more of it.